Seven Basic Steps to Help You Get Organized After Losing Your Spouse

Losing a spouse is one of the most tragic events a person endures in their life. If you have lost a spouse recently, you may still feel numb and overwhelmed. In this time, it can be difficult to take care of yourself while also juggling the financial and legal responsibilities that come with a death in the family. Although the process of losing a spouse can be incredibly challenging, I hope that these seven basic steps can make it easier for you to get organized and allow you to focus yourself more on your emotional well-being.

1. Reach out to friends, family, and professionals
Mourning the loss of your spouse can be devastatingly hard to go through, and on top of taking care of yourself emotionally, there are a lot of logistics that need to be handled after a death; from claiming your partner’s life insurance to closing their bank accounts, there are many tasks that must be dealt with. Many new widows put pressure on themselves to be emotionally tough and try and handle all of their responsibilities alone, failing to seek help from their family and friends. However, even simple tasks, like making your own dinner and cleaning your house, can be difficult to manage.  Reach out to your friends and family and don’t be afraid to lean on others for help.

As for handling money matters, settling an estate and going through all of the legal and financial paperwork that has to be filed after a death can get complicated. This process can be especially difficult on you if your spouse was the one who handled your finances. Reaching out to professionals like your financial advisor can be extremely helpful. Not only is the paperwork confusing but following a spouse’s death you may not be thinking clearly, and professional advisors can help you make responsible decisions until you are in a more stable place. The last thing you want to worry about in this stressful time is money.

2. Start by handling the essentials
There’s a lot to be done and you may wonder: where do I start? Start by focusing on the most pressing decisions, like arranging a funeral or collecting life insurance. Although there is a lot on your table, leave smaller tasks for later so you can focus on getting any big responsibilities out of the way. Make a “now” list of essential task list items that should be completed ASAP, noting when you want to finish the task by and who you need to meet with to make it happen. Making a “later” list of items that can be pushed back is also helpful to keep you organized and on track. You can ask your financial advisor for advice on which matters are most time sensitive.

3. Tackle Your To-Do List Slowly and Diligently
Settling your spouse’s estate can be complicated and take a long time. Understandably you just want to get it over with, but tackling your entire to-do list head on can be emotionally draining. Adversely, pushing important tasks aside and not dealing with your responsibilities will only slow down the process and make more work for you later. Take your time, handle things at a pace that you can handle, but ensure that you’re still being diligent with crossing things off your to-do list.

Make a task list of something to handle every day or every week to make sure that you’re consistently tying off loose ends. As well, accomplishing these tasks can help you through the grieving process, restoring some sort of order to your days in a time where you may not otherwise feel like getting out of bed.

4. Organize, organize, organize
After a death there are always a lot of documents and paperwork that will need to be filled out and filed. Keeping important paperwork clearly labelled and stored in folders is a great way to keep the logistics of handling your spouse’s death organized. For example: multiple institutions will require things like a death certificate, so keeping a couple dozen copies stored in a file, clearly labelled and easy to find, will help you streamline the process of searching and sending files. This is a quick and easy step that can save you from unnecessary stress.

 

5. Make Sure You Keep Up With Bills
As easy as it may seem, paying the bills can easily fall through the cracks in such a chaotic time. If you’re overwhelmed lean on a trusted family member or close friend to help you stay organized and list out which bills need to be paid and by when.

 

6. Get a better understanding of your spending
Whether your partner’s death leaves you with a large windfall or you’ve lost your household’s primary source of income, getting a better understanding of your financial situation is necessary to making good financial decisions going forward. Reach out to your financial advisor to help walk you through your current financial situation and help you plan what your next steps should be to preserve and grow your wealth.

 

7. Make sure to take care of YOU
Losing a spouse is an incredibly arduous life transition. Although it’s important to stay on top of your financial and legal responsibilities during this period, what’s most important is that you take time for yourself. Although you may want to power through your days, try to take a step back and reflect on how you’re doing emotionally and physically. Many recent widows and widowers over-work themselves to a point of transition fatigue, where they struggle to make decisions and think clearly. Although this time will be tough to get through, taking time to focus on your physical, emotional, and mental health will only help you move forward through this period of mourning.

 
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